It's Not Love, Actually

It’S Not Love, Actually by Dee Salmin is a sharp, funny, deeply relatable blend of memoir and manifesto that asks what dating could look like if women stopped being trained to accept less. Drawing on her years hosting triple j’s relationship podcast The Hook Up, Salmin turns her broadcaster’s eye on the stories we’re sold about romance, sex, and “being chill” — and what they cost us.

Through candid personal reflections and clear-eyed cultural critique, she unpacks the habits that keep standards low and self-trust shaky, offering an unfiltered, feminist guide to setting boundaries and choosing yourself without apology. It’s grounded, modern, and unmistakably Melbourne in spirit.

Perfect for readers who love contemporary memoir, feminist nonfiction, and dating and relationships books with bite — especially anyone ready to decentre men and rebuild their rulebook.

Add it to your stack for a bracing, validating read you’ll want to talk about afterwards.